you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
