i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
