you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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