I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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