i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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