i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
