Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
