Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
