i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
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