But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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