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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize