He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
