I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
