I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
