....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
