somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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