I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
