How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
