is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
