Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
