I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
It's rum buckets o'clock
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
