just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
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