escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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