You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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