I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
