you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize