Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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