You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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