I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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