you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
