some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
