i permit you to call me
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
