yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
worst night to have a conscience
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
