wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
