even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
