Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
birth control should be required to get into college
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
