yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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