When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Two words: blizzard sex
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
