i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
