Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
