I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
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