Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
