the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I have surprise drugs for everyone
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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