why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
