woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
We have started to decorate penises.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
