Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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