this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
