fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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