I want to stick my p in your. b.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
