After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
