all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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