But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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