i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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