So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
