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Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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