You're completely useless in the revolution.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
