Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
